Most of us assume that by the time we reach middle age we will be the person we’ve always aspired to be. But what happens if we don’t measure up? Rose Odengo takes stock of where she’s at, where she’s going and exactly who she wants to be.
I have been doing quite a bit of thinking, and this year, this grand year of jubilee, one of the things I have been thinking about is who I really am. This is the year a lot of us are standing in faith and saying God has restored all that was taken from us! Gaaaaad says! Hallelujah! I believe that, and that is all well and good. But we also have a part to play in this grand scheme we call life.
I have been reviewing my choices and plans. You know those annoying questions employers ask you at job interviews, such as, “where do you see yourself in five year’s time?” When I was a teenager I had planned my life up to my PhD. By now I would be called Dr Something Or Another, but you know what? I am not. After a start in 2008 and taking a break in 2009 I am now back to Ngumbaru; kujiokoa katika dimbwi la ujinga! And it is certainly an experience doing your undergrad as an adult. Earlier in the year I was in school to re-register and talk to a student advisor. There was a queue outside the advisor’s office and some kid, who was taller than me, tried to pick me up! I was so tickled, I burst out laughing and kept laughing loudly for some time. When I told him, “Boy, I am old enough to be your big sister.” his tone changed, and so did his demeanor; much more composed and respectful.
As usual I take you round in circles, but what I am getting at is, once you hit your thirties and forties you may feel as though you have wasted your life if you don’t have a series of accolades and certificates to your name. Especially if you have it thrown in your face whenever you catch up with an old friend who is quick to let you know that they followed through on their grand business plan and they’re now ‘top whatever’ of ‘whatever’. But after much thought, I decided it is more important to figure out Rose and live for Rose; and not by a silly timeline of success by a certain age. Yes, it is grand and a best practice to plan. But you also need to remind yourself that it is ok if things don’t work out the way you planned. What makes life worth living is the topsy and the turvy.
I am learning to exploit and step up to the things I once put away because they were ‘childish’. Whoever thought making people laugh would get you paid?
We are all made for something and I think you should join me in the quest to find ourselves and celebrate it. If it is any consolation, Larry King got his big break in radio in his golden years! Yep, he got his break at jubilee for real: 50 years!
The long and short of it is, you choose the direction your life is meant to take and you should follow it with all your heart. However long it will takes, the richness of your life will come to you in what you truly want to be, no matter how young or old you are!